How Do I Forget?

Posted: March 17, 2011 in Daily Rain, LoveShits Rainy Days

Do I look like the kind of girl who cries herself to sleep every night? Because I’m one of them now.

I’m so jealous when I see my friends talking to him knowing I can’t talk to him. I see your sister’s old photos, of you and I and that hair clip I gave you, and I remember how you used to love me.

I know in my heart, that we will never be together again. That even if he comes back, it might not even work out because I’m so insecure that he could do it all over again. And it might feel weird and all that.

I want to propose to him once more. Just once more before I let it all go. Hope I’ll have the courage to ask and the strength to be disappointed.

It sucks that I don’t even know him anymore. Everything we painstakingly built up, against all odds and obstacles and doubts and pain, it’s gone, thrown away.

I know he won’t read this because he hates reading sappy stuff.

I just wana say, I’m sorry. I go back to December all the time, but I know it’s too late. I’m sorry, I love you.

I know sorry doesn’t undo mistakes.

I want to be happy and whole again. And stop living in the past. Once you made that decision to give up, you didn’t turn back once. You deleted me totally from your life, erasing our memories, deleted my texts to you without reading, removed me as if I never existed. And you didn’t even want to talk about me, you avoided all mention of me.

I have to accept that we’ll never be together again, that you’re better off, that you don’t need me, that we’re just not right for each other. All I wanted was a loving relationship, you couldn’t give me that, and I couldn’t deal with it.

So now I have to stop myself from thinking about you every single day, knowing you have forgotten me and you regret nothing.

Girl you gotta lose the sad smile (:


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