DAMMIT FUCK THIS WORLD

Posted: March 18, 2011 in Angry in the Rain, Daily Rain, Sad in the Rain

Tonight, I saw you for the first time in 3 months.

And the scar just burst open again. I never thought I’d see you again. Nor did I think it would be so painful to see him walk past me like just a stranger on the street, when this same time last year we were staring at the stars in the sky being happy and promising each other we’d always be there for each other.

I asked him if he was going, and he said no. So I went, and yeah. WHAT GAME ARE YOU PLAYING, FATE? OF ALL THE TIMES, WHY MUST I HAVE GONE AT THAT TIME AND SAW HIM? I should have stayed home that night. Or stayed in the car. I didn’t want to go because of the memories. But I didn’t know that going down for 5 minutes would let me see you.

I just wanted to run after you, slap you, then hug you and cry. And I cried, as soon as I walked away, because I just want to forget you dammit, I just don’t want to see you anymore, I don’t want to miss you anymore, I DON’T.

It sucks IT SUCKS. It hurts and yeah why did you lie? why did u freaking lie? I just want to avoid you.

Dear Dimples, you’ve won ok? You walked away without any pain or regret. I was the one who took it hard, who hurts till today. So why? Why can’t you just let me rest? Let me forget you, avoid you. I never even talked bad about you once, I only blamed myself. But I know you talk crap about me and hate me. Why? For revenge? Am I not hurt enough?

JUST LEAVE ME FUCKING ALONE. I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE. I DON’T WANT TO FACE ANYTHING, AND NEXT TIME YOU FUCKING KNOW HE’S THERE JUST TELL ME AND I WON’T GO. SIMPLE AS THAT.

PLEASE LET ME MOVE ON AND FORGET OR LET ME DIE. Please.

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