Aftershock

Posted: March 20, 2011 in Daily Rain, LoveShits Rainy Days, Sad in the Rain, Wisdom in Rain

Sometimes I think that the aftershocks hurt worse. The excruciating pain and uncontrollable crying and dead feeling during the heartbreak, isn’t as bad as the dull ache after that, the ache that never stops hurting, that pain which fades temporarily but always comes back, that pain that accompanies you as you lie awake with the memories late at night.

I read back of my diary, and there are entries where I talk about how if he doesn’t change, I really wana dump him. And now it all seems so trivial, a missed phone call, a few unreplied texts, all those things. Am I happy now that’s it over? No.

I just hope you don’t ever regret meeting me, don’t ever think that our memories were a mistake. I still have all the necklaces and bracelets you gave me, and I cherish them though I’ll probably never see you again.

I know you hate poems, but I wrote one for you.

All the laughs I still want to have with you
All the kisses through the night I still want to share with you
Everyone asks me What happened? You seemed so happy
Soon it’ll be our anniversary
But you won’t be here
I miss you my dear.

Whenever times got hard
I had you to lean on, my rock, my knight in armor
But you fled before I could fix everything that went wrong
Remember we swore to never part?
All the promises, what were they for?
How do I stay strong?

You’re my first one true love
And now you left the first scar
My darling you’re the one I trusted
To never let go, no matter how far
But now we’re parted
I miss you my dear.

All our secrets and talks through the night
All the tingles when we first held hands
Those butterflies on our very first date
Those fireworks when we had our first kiss
All the apologies after each fight
Is it too late now?
You’re the one I still miss.

Cuddling in your arms, that familiar shoulder
Those beautiful eyes, that comforting odor
Why did you let me go, was I not good enough?
I never thought we’d end like this even when things got tough.

If I had known that was our last kiss
i wouldn’t have pulled away.
If I had known that was our last hug
i would have held on forever.
If I had known what would happen that day
i would have changed myself.
If I had known it would hurt so much
i would still love you.


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