The Process of Moving On

Posted: March 21, 2011 in LoveShits Rainy Days, Sad in the Rain, Wisdom in Rain

This is a tricky subject to write about, because it differs for everyone. After 4 months, I think I can safely say I have moved on. Not completely, of course, because that feeling never goes away totally. But I have moved on as much as possible, it hurts less, though it still does.

Of course, being single is better than being in an unhappy relationship, right? I was unhappy too, because I didn’t receive enough attention. And he was fed up to the point of not caring. But still, everyday when I wake up, I’m aware of that big hole in my chest, the emptiness and loneliness.

The skies are greyer, the leaves are more dead, the world seems smaller and sadder somehow, and no matter what that feeling won’t go away. That feeling that everything is grey, without much colour or interest, that feeling that I don’t care about anything, that feeling when I awake and see no messages greeting me with love when I wake up.

Maybe that’s part and parcel of being single. But anyhow, I have moved on as much as it is possible to move on. I didn’t just give up because I was fed up, I gave up because there was no hope, no miracle.

Someday he will find an awesome girl and he’ll forget all about me, that first love, and I suppose he will heal completely and block me out like he’s good at doing.

But anyhow, HOW TO MOVE ON?

Well, there are those who advocate positive thinking, talking to people, distraction, sports, laughing, comedy, finding a rebound, sleep and food, and more.

But I was a nutcase, I was the kind of crazy chick who just gnashed her teeth and wailed without caring or trying. I suppose eventually those things helped, but I seriously was delirious and crazy and not listening to sense. I went into temporary psychosis and desperately wanted him back like that. Like crazy

 

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