I’m Weak.

Posted: April 7, 2011 in LoveShits Rainy Days, Sad in the Rain, Wisdom in Rain

I wonder what the matter is with me. I just spoke to a friend of mine, who went through a similar breakup as mine. Like, totally identical. And she told me she’s moved on now and happy, and it only took her 2 months to heal. As for me, it has been 4 months and counting. So why?

I’m more ok now, but still not exactly happy, because I still miss him. Why? Is it because I can’t think positive enough? Or I’m too weak? Or I love him too much (blearghh)?

She told me, she knows he won’t find her back already, so she should live happily and show him she can be happy without him.

Why can’t I be so optimistic? I know he’ll never regret and look back or think of me again. So why can’t I just stop missing him? But at times when I’m sad or sick and weak, I just really need him, at times when I’m so happy and joyful, I wanna share with him.

It’s not fair that some people can heal so fast and I have to take such a long time to move on. I am just so weak. I know it’s all in the mindset. Yet a part of me still misses him no matter how positive I try to think, or when I try to remind myself he’s a jerk and I’ll find better, and that he’s not worth it. I have quite stopped blaming myself and regretting already, but I still wish I could rewind time.

Maybe I need school. But I have not asked about him or viewed his profile at all =)

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