我真的好想你 ♥

Posted: May 3, 2011 in Daily Rain, LoveShits Rainy Days, Sad in the Rain

I remember our first real fight (the time when you actually didn’t back down) and it was because i pretended to be some girl to text you and also because you didn’t wake up earlier to text me though you were exhausted. Then you turned off your phone, and i felt as if i was punched in the gut, i couldn’t breathe. And you replied me saying your phone had ran out of battery, and when we made up i cried.

That time we were webcamming and you took off your shirt when i dared you and your grandma almost caught you lol. Me teasing you about your sixpack, insulting your Bodyglove stuff.

We were going to take our law test together, planning it for ages, but you went with your friends without telling me or even caring. We were going to learn driving, spend more time together. But you refused to even try. You didn’t even wana see me. You turned your back on me without a backwards glance. You moved on so fast. You couldn’t live without me, what happened?

We were so close, so inseparable, it’d been so long. Those tender times you held me tight and smelled my hair. I know you’re happy now single as if I never happened 😦 i also don’t know why I keep going back and thinking of this painful memories that just hurts me more. A normal person would just block it from her mind, not think too much, and stop reliving it.

I think what hurts the most is how easily you moved on and I ceased to exist for you. How happy you were after that. It was so easy for you to cut me down. Before I stopped stalking your profile, i saw you flirting with girls, calling them cute and other names you used to call me. I guess it’s life. You’re not important to someone who means so much to you. But i know, i used to be important to you. At least i have that memory. I know, with your charm and personality and sense of humour, there’ll be another girl in your life soon.

I’ve already stopped talking about you, removed all your stuff, removed everything that’d remind me of you, stop going to the places we went together, stopped seeing your profile. But how do I remove you from my mind? I keyed in your IC to check your form6 qualification before realising, you’re not mine anymore. Guess what, we’d be in the same class 😥 gosh, I miss you. I see you online and it feels like a punch in my gut, and I log out to avoid you. I’m so goddamn weak, and I know you don’t give a shit or even feel this pain when you suddenly see me or hear about me, whereas I can’t even hear your name being spoken in movies or whatshit. When some woman in Universal Studios called her friend and he had your name my heart plummeted.

When i’m flirting with a guy I tell myself I don’t have to answer to you anymore when I think of you suddenly. You look so good.. I just want to hold you again once more in my arms ;( Is that why I’m still holding on to that promise I made you that I’d love you forever and ever? 😦

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