Top 5 Things That Haunts You After A BreakUp

Posted: May 8, 2011 in Daily Rain, LoveShits Rainy Days, Random and Weird in the Rain, Sad in the Rain

Yes today I’m making a list! Hooray for that. So, in no particular order:

1. The promises, hopes and plans for the future. Who has never remembered with a jolt that today is supposed to be your anniversary? Or that you were planning to go together to the dance next week? Who has forgotten the promises that the feelings will never change, that he’ll always always love you and never ever leave you? Or those times we promised one another “I swear, no matter what happens, I will never ever leave you. I’d always be with you no matter what. Why would I leave? I can’t live without you. I need you. ” And now, that promise has been broken.

2. The moment you first met. The sweet times when you first met, when you’d never imagine it’d end like this, the times when you first fell in love, and how you swore to never hurt each other. If you had seen the future when you first got together, would you be able to believe it would end as it did?

3. The things you’ve done together. And this, must be the hardest part. Those sweet names, “bie”, “darling”, the everyday calls and texts, the gifts you’ve been given, the places you’ve gone. Till now I can’t go to the beach without remembering that trip we made there. The hugs, the kisses, the movies you’ve watched, the dinners you’ve eaten together, the secrets you’ve shared. The mutual friends, the milestones in the relationship. The pictures.

4. What happens post-breakup. This depends on whether it was a bitter breakup. Mine consisted of me being blocked completely, and yea we never talked again. We’re strangers, and that’s good in a way. Keeps out hope. But it haunts, too, the way it echoes in your head, how did it end up like this?

5. The things that went wrong or was your fault. Ok this is the worst one. You should never think about this and blame yourself, but it happens. I know I should think about his faults. Like how he’d never do those little things for me, just a simple thing like once I asked him to touch a weird heart shaped bump on my face and he refused because it was weird. He never stood up for me, he rarely showed public affection, he seemed to value his friends’ company more. But other than that he was fine. He got jealous but didn’t control me, he rarely fought back, he always said sorry first, he tried to make it special, he never gave up on me in the beginning, never talked bad about me even when we fought. Which makes me feel awful for all the things I’ve done wrong and wish I could take back. Remembering times when he said “You always say you’d never leave me, but why do you always break up with me?”

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