I Suck At Everything

Posted: December 28, 2011 in Sad in the Rain, Uncategorized

Sometimes I feel like I’m a failure at everything.

I mean, the only thing that I have in my favour is studies. The only thing which is worth anything of all in me is that. It’s the only thing I’m good at. I’m good at Geography. I’m good at Biology. I’m good at studying and memorising and taking tests. That is all.

I sometimes feel like I’d be Nobita if I didn’t have studies in my favour. If you’ve ever watched Doraemon, you’ll know if this sad loser called Nobita who fails in everything he does. Which is almost like me.

You know how they say everyone is good in at least one thing? No one is ever bad at everything? It’s true, but what if one day I lose this only thing I’m “good” at?

I suck at every single athletic activity. I lose at every competitive activity, be it badminton, or bowling, or running. I have horrible reflexes, I suck at video games, I can’t drive, I’m not alert enough to realise a bear is about to eat me. I can’t drive to save my life, and my balance is so bad that I can’t ride a bike, or swim.

Not only that. I’m not good at Tetris, Sudoku, even Chess. I can’t paint nor have any artistic skill (except shopping LOL.) I can’t sing, and my coordination, as said, is so bad that I can’t even remember left from right hence I can’t dance. I have no musical talent and I can’t play any instrument. I don’t bake (would probably suck at it) and I don’t sew, I can’t do ANYTHING at all well.

I don’t know, I just take it seriously. I wish I could be the best in everything. Some people are naturally good at everything, you know? I’m jealous. Even during a casual game of bowling with friends, when I lose I feel like a huge failure.

Nothing comes naturally to me. Except studying. And my writing. That’s all. I can’t even play video games when my boyfriend asks me to, ’cause I’m so bad that I’d only feel awful when I can’t do it.

You might call it my own negative mentality and my own disability to step out of my comfort zone. I should try new things and practice. But I just wish I could be naturally good at something else. It’s a bit discouraging and disheartening when a person who is say, learning to swim for the first time with you, manages to learn while you don’t. It’s what discourages me from going ice skating, or play tennis with others. Sure, it’s your first time too, but you don’t know how bad I am. How embarassing it is when everyone can already master it yet you still can’t cause you suck so much.

I just take it seriously. I am one of the only who finds driving difficult. I have no sense of direction even. I used to rationalize and make excuses that oh my car is too hard to drive, and so on. Maybe I’m just bad at it. I’m not really creative either, nor a public speaker/debater or whatsoever good enough to call it a gift of mine.

Can’t you see? I’m not good at anything besides.. Well, doing well in tests. Do you really want that? It’s all I have.. The ability to memorise random facts in books. What if I’m smart, get a good degree, yet fail to find a job? Can I use my other skills (say, painting, creative skills) to find another job in another field, like advertising or whatsoever? No. All I have is a piece of paper saying hey this girl can memorise her Bio book well, kudos to her but you’re not getting a job from here.

Aimless and directionless life.

  1. Eric says:

    Cheer up girl~ don’t sweat for it. Maybe there is a hidden talent within you, you haven’t discover it. Anyway, I think you are a talented blogger, you really know how to write ^^. Oh,btw been reading your blog since…err…2008,big fans here ^^

  2. Kev says:

    Look , I may only excel in video games , but I do try to be good at other stuff. Be an optimist Ena. We will talk next time.

    • nanaliew says:

      at least you’re good at video games. i suck. my reflexes are slow. it’s embarassing, in daily life, when you are so bad at everything. Studies and knowledge isn’t something that you use in daily life.

  3. Randomer says:

    People who think many stuffs usually lost direction, i’m also aimless. At least you are good at writing/learning through anything written. Not many people is good at that trust me.

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