Thank you, Mummy

Posted: February 21, 2012 in Uncategorized

I called mummy and we talked. We hung up, with me reassuring her I was fine. Suddenly, I felt like I couldn’t pretend anymore. I called her back and cried. I just needed my mummy. Mummy was so worried. She asked me to be brave, and remember all the things she’d taught me. About how everyone admired my courage, my will, my determination. She asked me to keep making her proud, and not let anyone see me cry, not let anyone see me weak, because I’m strong, and I’m all grown up now and she knows I can do it. She asked me to stop doing all this work, just take a break and watch some movies.. Just go out and eat till I’m full. She said she doesn’t mind sending me more money cause she’s so worried.

Mummy says she misses me a lot at night but she just doesn’t dare say it. Mummy asks me to be strong and remember that they are all there supporting me at home. Everyone misses me and my laughter. She says she can’t wait for me to go home. Everyone is so excited to see me again.

It’s the first time I have cried to mummy. Every time, no matter what, i will tell her I am fine, I am strong, so she doesn’t worry. But this time, I just need you.

I’m sorry mummy. I’m sorry if you’re worried. I’m sorry if I haven’t been strong enough and I’ve disappointed you all at home. I will do my best. I miss you all so much. I have never been this homesick. I want some of Dad’s homecooked food, I want to fight with bro. I have been telling all of you how happy I am here all along.. But this time, I couldn’t anymore. I know you are all here from me. I have been keeping everything from you too long. I need my family.

Mummy asks me to hide my tears, so no one sees them. She asks me not to think too much and be happy, and be brave, because I’m smart and beautiful and she’s never been prouder to have a daughter like me. Thanks, mummy. Thanks for everything. I miss you all so much.. Please don’t worry about me. I will try to be fine, to sleep more, to eat healthily and do everything calmly. I will try to finish everything on time.

Mummy says she can’t sleep tonight because she knows how down I am. I’m sorry mummy. You should go to sleep. Sorry to make you worried. I’m a big girl now, and yet I’m still making you worried. Hearing you ask me if I was okay broke me.. I just couldn’t keep it up anymore.

I really will try to toughen up. Thanks for all your advice. I am so sorry for failing to be strong like you have taught me. I wish I was a little girl again.

I love you all. I miss you so much.

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