Explaining

Posted: February 28, 2012 in Daily Rain, Life in Rainy School, Sad in the Rain

Sorry for the very emo and cryptic posts lately guys.

I’m having a very rough patch and I’ll liken it to walking underwater, trying my best to keep my head above the surface. In the past whenever I had a nervous breakdown I just slept and ate and slept but now, I still have to function about my daily life, do chores, homework, and go to college, without any family to support me and always having to use all my energy to keep up cheerfulness and so on in class. I don’t want to burst into tears in college or anything.

I’ve lost my phone and Mum actually wants to dip into her savings for her cataract surgery just to buy me a new one cause she can’t stand to see me so sad. I asked my parents to settle their mortgage, credit card and loans things first and I’ll settle this myself as it is my own fault, but they insisted on helping me because they care about me. I’ve been very touched, I seriously thought they would be so angry at me that they wouldn’t talk to me for days.

At times, no matter how hard i try, even on tiptoes, my head fails to break the surface and I can feel myself drowning in the metaphorical waters. I hope one day, either by myself or with help, I’ll be able to pull myself out onto dry ground. Will someone pull me up? Because I can’t keep treading water and gulping only occasional gasps of air. I want to WALK again.

It feels like I have cancer or something but can i ask all you guys to keep me in your prayers? =) 

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Comments
  1. qwe says:

    If I were you, I would insist the parents not to buy the phone again, simply buy myself a cheap nokia with social network features will do.
    If I were you, I would treat all these happenings as a sign for me to change myself to better. I would start realizing how good my life actually is right now. I would simply look at the sky alone at night on a good weather from a higher place and realize how lucky enough I’m to be there.

    • nanaliew says:

      i am insisting. right now im using a friend’s phone. i want to settle it myself. it’s easy to be positive when you’re talking about another person’s misfortunes. if i went up to a high place i doubt i’d appreciate my life, i’d probably emo and jump off lol

      • qwe says:

        Is losing a cellphone even count as a misfortune? I doubt that. You may want to analyze in detail which part of your life so miserable it makes you emo and jump off. Hopefully losing a cellphone is not part of it.

      • nanaliew says:

        it is if you’re poor.

  2. Bee says:

    Of course I will Ena. (:

  3. Miss Anon says:

    I know it is hard for you to cheer up Ena despite in these hardships you’ve been through. Hey, I’ve been reading your blog for quite some time ago and I really enthralled by how you express your feelings and emotions in each posts. Don’t worry, you’ll be in my prayer everytime though we never really talked in real life. Stay strong Ena!

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