Posted: April 3, 2012 in Sad in the Rain

I dislike it when people are self-righteous.

I seriously do. I mean, you asked me to tell you my problems. I was scared you wouldn’t listen but you said you do and you wanna know. Then when I told you that I’ve been continuously depressed up and down these few days for no concrete reason you start yelling at me for being an emo  bitch. Do you think this is what I need? Sure, it’s easy to say “be positive and change your mindset.” If everyone can do it, though, why are there crazy people in the world? Why are there people facing depression? Why are there people who are alcoholics, drug users? Do you go to a depressed person and yell at them till they cheer up? Do you go to a crazy person and shake them till they become sane?

This is why I want to talk to no one. Because everyone will give the same advice which I know isn’t going to help me in any way except as comfort and someone to talk to. But I trusted you and told you. Instead of being a friend you started saying things to me like “oh if you don’t want to take my advice and help yourself then no one can help you then don’t ever come find me anymore and go live your miserable life and die alone“. Honestly, isn’t it so EASY to ask a person to just cheer up? You yourself has been through tough times and know it’s not so easy to just “be positive and happy.” And when a person fails to suddenly cheer up overnight do you get angry at a person for failing? No. If you care about me, then you’d help me get there, not attack me.

It’s as hurtful as someone saying “just go slit your wrists la” when you’re sad. Which happened to me from someone else.

But bottom line is, I shared my secrets with you and all you can do is yell at me and say “You never change/you never listen/no one can help you/just continue being miserable and don’t come to me anymore.” Not only leaving me alone but also increasing my self-loathing.

It’s like kicking someone when they’re already on the ground. It’s cruel, and hurtful, and makes me just more unable to trust. You have so much anger directed at me, each time we speak it’s just “You’re always like that, making assumptions and never listening to others. You never change.” So much blame and hatred and annoyance directed at me with so much anger. When I am trying my best to carry on. You ASKED me to share with you, yet after I opened up and told you, all you can do is blame me for “not being strong and not being positive.”

Thanks a lot for making me worse. The worst thing is how you still think you’re the one who is right and good and different since you’re the hero who gave me advice and I’m the idiot who didn’t listen to your advice. Just think about it, were you really trying to help me or did you just plunge me deeper into depression because you can’t handle your anger?

Just remember you are the one who caused my emotional scars. Please don’t have the nerve to still act like all the blame’s on me.

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