Melancholy

Posted: August 9, 2012 in Sad in the Rain, Wisdom in Rain

I know I shouldn’t think that when I start working, my life and ideals will all be gone.

But at the age of 19, i already feel the same feeling of despair as if all my ideals have collapsed around me.

I really, really hate how much time is being wasted.. 8 months of my youth gone in this wretched holiday. No money, no freedom, nothing good out of this wait.

I can’t help remembering all my big dreams and ambitions I used to have.. Where have they gone? At this age, I wanted to be published, to be volunteering in Africa, to be backpacking across Europe in a gritty, unwashed state. Call me radical, but these have always been my dreams.

And now? I can barely bring myself to finish a book. I can barely get myself to type a page without giving up. Because the painful truth sets in: If you don’t try you won’t fail. And frankly, you WILL fail, because you will never be good enough, never will make it big like you thought you would.

I wanted to change the world, to save it. But now? I’m useless. Just another, ordinary person with ordinary problems.

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Comments
  1. A friend says:

    I remember monthsssss ago when I barely knew you, the impression you gave me was ’emo girl’. When I read your blog, I felt sad. I actually wanted to help you but I wasn’t sure how. Hmm..I cant remember whether I made any effort to cheer you up or not. Maybe I did, maybe not. But i prayed for you la. Anyway, that wasnt important la. In life, things happen then we learn, we grow and we become a better person (you wrote something like this in one of your posts, I copied). So…nah, you are a happy girl now and I hope you will continue to live like this. Don’t get frustrated easily, don’t get angry easily and go berate people. Live life, friend 🙂 Life is beautiful, and colourful.

  2. A friend says:

    Do you know who am I ? ==

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